I am pretty thrilled to announce I have been smoke free for five months (and one day). In all honesty, I never thought I would last this long. Didn’t think I would last five hours! Not a single cigarette. Not even a puff. Which considering that I have been very unwell the past couple of weeks is probably a very good thing. (Almost 25 years of smoking has caused more lasting damage to my health than I realised – and I now have two different kinds of Ventolin in my life as a result).
But would you believe I still miss smoking… I have been giving myself a headache trying to think up ways I can have ‘just one’. Considering my expectation at the beginning of my quit journey was to fail – and fail often, I have even thought that perhaps I should start smoking again.
Basically, this hasn’t turned out the way I had expected. I wanted to try various different quit methods. I wanted to get tipsy and relapse. Part of me is disappointed that I have so far succeeded in quitting. I am looking for an excuse to start puffing away again and call it ‘research’. Smoking is an addiction.
But I am a stubborn person. And five months is a long time. And that first six weeks was hell. So, I will keep trying to avoid temptation and stay quit. For now anyway…
“I ascribe to the cigar, the greatest share of my self-control and tenacity in work.” Sigmund Freud.